I found this somewhere on the Internet ages ago. Makes me giggle everytime I read it :)
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things. The grandad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy."
Another outburst and she hears the grandad calmly say: "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Grandad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."
Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says:
"It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandad."
"Thanks," says the grandpa. "But I am William. The little bastard's name is Kevin."
All Funny Children stories